I can't imagine your pain. It was heartbreaking to read your story. The way you expressed your love for your brother.

Losing someone close is the hardest thing in this world. You so desperately want them but they're no where near. You want to share life with them, but you can't. You spend your whole life learning to accept but Grief is something that nobody can accept. People I think only pretend to have accepted it. But deep down every night, every morning, they think of them and wish 'they were here'.

The way I approach grief, is I think you just let it in. After all, that is all what's left of our beloved. I think that's how we feel them spiritually, though we can't physically, though we can't see them.

I am sure, your brother lives with you. In your heart, in your thoughts, in everything you do, every day. I'm sure he is happy somewhere there that he got a sister like YOU. I'm sure he wasn't happy with his life but, I'm pretty sure he was grateful that he had you.

Your brother is not gone, Sheleena. He's living in your gracious heart.

Much love, Nepal